Once Upon and Akatsuki's Life
by RcBunnys2
Summary: This is a series of one shots, all about the life of being in Akatsuki, and everyone in it. All genres.


A/N: Hello, good readers. If you do not know me, I used to be called 'Kilalala'. If you do not recognize that name, then just ignore it I suppose. Anyways, I am back writing on FF. This is a series of one-shots all about Akatsuki. They may be drabbles or cracks, I'm not sure on those turns... Anyways... Please review, I love hearing your comments.

Summary of chapter: Itachi has a mysterious cookie jar that he hides high up in the kitchen. He won't let anyone have any cookies from it. Deidara wants to see what he is trying to hide.

Chapter rating: G

Disclaimer: Is a disclaimer mandatory?

**The Cookie Jar**

"Itachi-san?" the blonde boy asked. Itachi looked over from his position sitting at the kitchen table. If he was any other person, he would have jumped because Deidara had snuck up on him.

"What?" the Uchiha asked coldly, hiding something within the sleeve of his cloak.

"What's that? Un..." asked Deidara, referring to what Itachi was hiding.

"Nothing..." he glared back. "...Go away."

Deidara shrugged then bounded out of the room. he knew by now when he should just take his leave, no questions asked. Itachi stood, taking the item out of his cloak. It was a red and black cookie jar. Walking over to the giant cabinet, he stood on a stool and placed the jar in the far back of the top shelf. Seemingly levitating down, Itachi shut the cabinet doors and left the kitchen from the opposite door Deidara had. Little did he know, the spunky clay master had been watching him the whole time.

"Hmm..." a bobbling blonde head peered into the kitchen, checking to see if the coast was clear. Confirming it was, a cloaked body accompanied the head. Deidara walked over to the cabinet Itachi was previously occupying.

"What's this? Un..." He opened the cabinet, looking up. He looked down again, around the ground. The stool Itachi had stood on was no longer there. Oh, well... Deciding to just climb up, he started by putting his hands on the highest, sturdiest place he could find. The mouths in his hands bit down on what he had grabbed for extra secerity. Pulling up, the blonde placed his foot on one of the shelves. He reached the top shelf and quickly grabbed the mysterious cookie jar before hearing an eariy _crack. ."_Uh oh-" The shelf Deidara was standing on suddenly gave way, sending him falling down flat on his back.

"OWWwww..." he groaned loudly, but then remembered he was supposed to be stithe and silent. Those noises must have draw attention, so he decided to quickly leave. But of course, not before he shoved the broken pieces of shelf into the cabinet and grabbing the cookie jar.

The door behind Deidara made a small click as he locked it, even though it didn't seem to matter. Anyone could enter his room if they wished. That's why the blonde took the precaution to let many clay spiders crawl and sit around the frame of the door on the outside, warning anyone that they could easily detonate if there were invaders.

Slumping down on his bed, the boy examined his prize; the mysterious cookie jar. What secrets did it hold? Was there mystical cookies within? He would never know if he didn't open it. Here was the moment of triumph. He reached down to take the lid off, almost in slow motion. Almost...

_Knock, knoc- BOOM!_

"Deidara..." A voice growled, but was eerily calm, from the door. Deidara had squeaked at the sudden interrupters, fumbling with the jar and almost dropping it. He quickly hid it under his blanket, oblivious to the obvious lump it made under the sheets.

"U-Un?" The door slowly creaked open, revealing the only one who could have lived to kick Deidara's ass because of the bombs.

"What are you doing?" Sasori calmly asked his partner. He noticed the lump under Deidara's blanket. "What's that?"

Deidara looked down at the lump and quickly moved to sit in front of it. "N-Nothing! Un!"

Sasori looked at him suspiciously. Or, rather, he _would _have. The suspicion was hidden, but Deidara could see it clearly. He knew he was lying. "Right."

"S-So, what brings you here, Sasori-Danna? Un..." he tried to change the subject quickly.

"I heard something crash in the kitchen, and I emidiatly thought of you." the puppet-master explained. Deidara had regained his composure and had his trade-mark mischievous smirk plastered on his face.

"_Me_? I'm flattered! Un." he joked.

"So you did?" Sasori asked, not catching that he was joking. or maybe he did, but just didn't care.

"Of course not! Un!" he defended. "Anyways, Danna, I had my door locked for a reason!"

"What reason?" The redhead had caught the sudden subject change again, confirming that Deidara had indeed been the source for the crash in the kitchen.

"I was about to have a shower, un! Your lucky you didn't burst in while I was changing! ...Un!" Quickly coming up with a lie that would surly piss Sasori off, Deidara acted offended.

"You don't seem like you were." Sasori stated coolly.

Deidara puffed his cheeks out, saying, "Well, I was! Now, if you'll excuse me... Un..."

Sasori inwardly sighed and left the room.

"Now, if there are no more disruptions... Un..." Deidara mumbled to himself. He slowly recovered the cookie jar, taking a tight hold on it. He look around cautiously, then finally started to take the lid off.

_BOOM!_

"GAH!" Deidara dropped the lid; it bounced on the floor loudly. All was silent until a small moan of a familiar fish-man from the other side of the door. BBQ, anyone?

A few moments pass until Deidara is sure it is safe to stick his hand in the jar. He slowly slid his hand inside, pulling out an envelope. The envelope was sealed with a heart-shaped sticker. He decided not to brake the seel and dumped the rest of the jar's contents on his bed. Many more letters spilled out, all sealed with the same heart-shaped sticker. Examining them more closely, he saw addresses. Maybe Itachi forgot to mail them? Being the good samaritan he was, Deidara went off to go mail them himself.

A few hours later a load pounding erupted from Deidara's door, waking the dozing blonde. "Huh? Wha-?" He sat up, looking to the door of his room.

"_Deidara..._" a low growl emitted from the closed door once again.

Recognizing Itachi's voice just barely, Deidara hid under his covers. "Not here!" Realizing he just confirmed he was there, he quickly said, "Ah, damn! Un!" The door burst open to reveal a red-eyed Itachi, an eviler than usual glint in his eye.

"Did you mail my letters?" the Uchiha ground out.

"Uhmm... Maybe? ...Un?" A green-blue eye peeked out from under the blanket. Itachi's expression was one that expected him to go on. "...You didn't want them mailed? I thought the person those letters were for would be happy.. Who was it? Un? ...Sasuke, i think...?" Itachi started to slowly advance towards the shuttering blonde. "Itachi, wait! Un! _ITAAACHIII!"_

**FIN**


End file.
